Worklife Balance Consultant and Life Coach

The Dance Between Joy and Pain by Mansukh Patel and Rita Goswami - review by Pauline Ward

My yoga teacher introduced me to this book by Mansukh Patel and Rita Goswami a decade ago and it has been my constant companion ever since. The authors were inspired to write this book following a journey to some of the most inspiring and the most disturbing places on earth; from Jerusalem to Assisi, to Auschwitz and Dachau, from the slums of India to penthouse suites in New York. Mansukh and Rita write: “This book emerged out of the immense cry of the human heart. A cry for help and guidance and clarity about the nature of suffering and pain.”

In the forward to Mansukh Patel and Rita Goswami’s book, Dr. Marcel Messing explains that we can only find lasting happiness when we can learn to “transform negative thinking and pessimism into positivity and optimism such as hatred into love, compassion and forgiveness, anger and jealousy into loving kindniss… It begins with thinking and feeling with the heart. Christ said Wherever is your heart, there also is your treasure…

But how to harness this power and make it work for us in our day to day lives? So often we feel a victim of circumstances. Given the kinds of things that happen in life, for all of us, how do we avoid reacting with fear, anger, and the rest? And don’t we have a right to feel like that? Well yes, but it’s to our own great advantage not to stay in a place of pain one moment longer than necessary. In this marvellous book, Mansukh Patel and Rita Goswami show us that we do not need to stay in our emotional pain and describe how we can restore our natural balance, and joy.

Mansukh and Rita are very clear that this is not about surpressing the emotions but about transforming them. For instance the enormous power and energy that arises when we are angry can be used in a positive way. We probably have all known of someone – devastated by the loss of a loved one, perhaps by cancer, who has used that emotional energy to do good in the world, e.g. raising money for cancer charities. And in so doing that person has also helped themselves and promoted their own healing.

We have all at times wanted to over come our fear or anger at a situation, and struggled to know how. Perhaps we succeed in putting the situation out of mind, but then when we remember it, all the distressing emotions flood back. In this book, Mansukh Patel and Rita Goswami show us how, by using simple, practical but very powerful techniques, we can totally transform the way we feel. From the depth of their experience and travels through the world, Mansukh and Rita tell us stories that bring a whole new perspective.

The book has guided me to an understanding that although I may not be able to change the events around me, I can change the way I feel about and respond to them. This book has guided me through the storms of life from the illness and loss of loved ones, conflict at work, and the ending of a 30 year long partnership. I remember on one occasion my very kind GP advising me to take a course of anti-depressants. I assured him this would not be necessary – and that I could resolve my feelings myself. And with the knowledge developed over years of working with this book, I did. On another occasion, I was totally devastated by a situation, which gave rise to a range of emotions from rejection to anger; my self esteem was shattered. I worked with this book through the weekend, and by Monday I was able to face the situation with total equanimity and confidence.

Perhaps one of the most precious gems that Mansukh Patel and Rita Goswami have shown me through this book, is that, like it or not, unavoidable pain does have a vital part to play in all our lives, and can carry with it the impetus which drives us to reach our highest potential. The challenges of life precede our greatest successes and highest achievements.

So, whenever I go on a journey, and pack my first aid kit, I put Rita and Mansukh’s book – my emotional first aid kit – in as well. Just in case. I simply wouldn’t be without it.

More information: The Dance Between Joy and Pain, by Rita Goswami and Mansukh Patel

My yoga teacher introduced me to the Dance between Joy and Pain by Mansukh Patel and Rita Goswami a decade ago and it has been my constant companion ever since. The authors were inspired to write this book following a journey to some of the most inspiring and the most disturbing places on earth; from Jerusalem to Assisi, to Auschwitz and Dachau, from the slums of India to penthouse suites in New York. Mansukh and Rita write: “This book emerged out of the immense cry of the human heart. A cry for help and guidance and clarity about the nature of suffering and pain.”